Hate the sin, love the sinner?
“Hate the sin, love the sinner” has long been a popular phrase thrown around in the church of Jesus Christ. But lately, (as with most sayings thrown around nonchalantly and tritely) this phrase has been misused, misinterpreted, and misunderstood. For some, “love the sinner, hate the sin” eventually turns into “accept the sinner AND the sin – don’t judge anyone.” For others, the misinterpretation of this saying has caused them to abandon the idea completely, saying one cannot simultaneously claim to love someone while condemning their actions. In short “who I am = what I do.”(I am indebted to Josh McDowell for this observation, from his book “The New Tolerance.”) However, if understood in the right context, loving the sinner and hating the sin is EXACTLY what the Christian is called to do.
First of all, it is important to define one's terms. Most importantly here, one needs to consider: “What does ‘love’ mean?” Is it loving to tell someone what they are doing is wrong? Consider this scenario: if a child is caught stealing, what is a parent to do? By the “no judgment” definition, would the “loving” thing be to just let the child steal and just “love” the child? NO WAY! No one would attribute the label of “good parent” to someone allowing their child to continue to steal. No, this situation calls for what is sometimes called “tough love.” The child who errs must be punished for what he or she did wrong, but this does not mean his/her mother or father hates the child. Rather, the parent shows he/she loves the child enough to stop him/her from doing wrong and teaching him/her to choose to do right. Furthermore, in many instances, the young child does not realize he or she is doing something wrong, and needs the careful, loving direction of the parent for correction. This is, in essence, part of the God-given role of the parent. Therefore, love sometimes means facing difficult truths and navigating difficult courses of action.
In Ephesians 4, Paul writes to the Ephesian church: “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” Paul recognizes a very important fact: what those who do not know the Lord engage in IS wrong, and an abomination before the Lord, but, because they are still under the sinful nature, they are in bondage to that nature. Those who do not know Christ are ignorant of the life that is in Him because their hearts are hard, and because they have lost sensitivity to right and wrong. These verses highlight two very important principles: while Christians are to hate sinfulness and refuse to engage in sinful activity, we are also to have compassion and pity for those living under the sin nature, for they are in bondage to that nature – they don’t understand (partially because they don’t want to) how it is God wants them to live! In this case, it is the God-given role of the church to proclaim the truth, unashamedly, but in a compassionate way – declaring that yes, the sin the world lives in is an abomination to the Lord; yes, in sin the unbeliever is separated from God, but that there is hope, healing, and LIFE in the Spirit.
Yes, beloved. We MUST live differently than the world; we MUST abhor sin the way that God does. But remember, God sent His Son into the world to “condemn sin in sinful man,” (Romans 8:3) and “not to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”(John 3:17) We must not shy away from calling sin what it is, but we must leave room for God to judge, for God to change the person. Changing the heart is God’s territory. WE are called to “speak the truth in love.” In love. So, before you condemn the sinfulness of sin in someone’s life, before you get to “hating the sin” ask yourself, “why do I want to speak the truth to this person?” What is your motivation? Is it to prove that you are holier-than-thou? Is it to make the other person feel inadequate and unlovable? Is it to somehow make a distinction between yourself and them? If so, then that is not speaking the truth in love. The pursuit of holiness is good thing, but with the wrong motivation, it is dangerous – remember, the Pharisees spoke out about sin to people, and “pursued holiness,” but with pride, arrogance, and hypocrisy. So I ask again: What is your motivation? Is it to make yourself look better, or are you speaking the truth out of a sincere desire to see Christ work in that person’s heart, to change their life from the inside out; are you speaking in humility, knowing and acknowledging that without Christ, you are no better?
Be bold. Be love. Hate the sin, but love the sinner. Speak the truth in love.
