Anyone who knows me knows I'm slightly obsessed with Les Miserables. I love the moving story - the search for redemption in a world of legalism, the fight for freedom in an oppressive world. The songs, the characters, the life in the lyrics. There is no surprise in someone like me falling in love with this musical. What may surprise you is my favorite character - Javert. Now, he's not my favorite character because I think he's a great guy (he's actually one of the most frustrating characters). Javert is a staunch supporter of following the letter of the law, refusing to see what people become, and seeing only who they were. He is self -righteous, and unwilling to give or receive grace. (Spoiler Alert - if you have not seen Les Miserables yet, stop reading here, go see it, and then come back and finish this blog.)
Therefore, when Javert receives grace from Valjean, when Valjean has the opportunity to kill him, he cannot process grace or the idea that maybe Valjean is a better man than he, decides he cannot live in a world "in the debt of a thief," and commits suicide. Because he sees no need for grace, and cannot give grace, he is unable to receive grace and the liberation that comes along with it. In many ways, this makes Javert one of the great tragic characters of the stage. But why then is Javert my favorite character.
My friends: I am Javert.
Quite simply, Javert is my favorite character because I feel everything he feels and I identify with him. Throughout high school, and into college, I was that same, self-righteous, too-good-for-grace person. Like Javert, I understood that we are all born in sin, that we all begin in the same place. I know that we can't go to heaven without trusting in Christ. But, I reasoned, we all make our choices, and after all, I wasn't really that bad - certainly much better than many. I couldn't understand why everyone else couldn't grasp the concept - make the right choices, and all would be well. It wasn't that complicated.
I would have never said so out loud. I went to church; I knew the Bible verses about being saved by grace and how if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation. But what lay in my heart was far from gracious and Christ-like. I was so quick to judge and condemn. Sure, Jesus could forgive them, but I would always see only who people had been, and apply that judgement to who they became. If Valjean is the prodigal, Javert is the elder brother. I would be lying if I told you I wasn't inclined to act just like the elder brother - demanding special rights and privileges for faithfulness and protesting the celebrated return of the prodigal son. I felt entitled to special rights, never owning the truth - that I too, am only acceptable to God through the blood of Christ, and the reward I sought is that beautiful fellowship with God.
Javert's struggle with grace ends in despair and suicide, which is why I am SO thankful for God's patience and willingness to show me my own desperate need for precious grace. God broke me my sophomore and junior years of college, and I came face to face with my own failures, sins, and struggles. I finally fully understood the beauty and magnitude of God's scandalous grace. When one who has lived under the deception of self-righteousness, the recognition of sin is overwhelming and in some ways more painful than any prior experience. This was true for me, and for a time I despaired. And there, surrounded by the recognition of my own unworthiness, God showed me through His word that grace is for me too - yes, I need grace and mercy, and because of Christ, that grace is available.
\
Since that time, though I still struggle from time to time with self-righteous pride, God reminds me that aside from Christ's grace and strength, I am no better than any other man. The acceptance of grace has allowed me the freedom to love, the freedom to recognize that every man in Christ is a new creation - the old is GONE, and all things have been made NEW!
