Yes, here it is again, the yearly "marriage anniversary" blog. I may make this an annual thing, share what I've learned each passing year of marriage. We'll see how quickly I run out of revelations and life lesssons. Ha.
Our first year of marriage was filled with all those crazy moments of learning how to do life together - navigating the beautiful mess of blending two, individual lives into a single, shared life. It was a year of discovery, new surprises and blunders along the way. Year one was learning what it meant to be a wife, learning to adult (semi-successfully). This year, we found a rhythm, learning to predict, swerve, and adjust when life throws little curveballs. In this second year, I feel I only learned a few things, but they touch all areas of life, of our marriage.
Year one was about learning the little ideosyncracies that make up the man I married.
Year two involved discovering more of who he is, inside and out, knowing him more deeply and completely, learning just we were in for in this crazy, beautiful life. This year, I learned more about the man God is making and has shaped him into. These are the lessons and revelations from our second year.
First, I learned it doesn't matter if money is tight. By this I mean - no matter our finances, I love that man more than ever. Comfortable finances may equal more vacations, fancy things, and I know it tends to equal less daily stress, but it does not and cannot measure the amount of love in my marriage. And I am overjoyed to walk into the rest of my marriage knowing that Tanner's love for me, and mine for him, is in no way dependent upon a bank account balance. To know that whether we have $1 million or $10, whether we have "wiggle room" or are living hand to mouth, I love that man to the moon and back - I have since I was 18, and I always will. To know that love and committment is not tied in any way to financial security or uncertainty gives me great joy.
Second, they say before you get married, one of the most important questions to ask is, "Do I want to suffer with this person?" Because one guarantee in life is pain - it will come, regardless of finances, class, job, color, or any other factor in life. We all walk through pain and sorrow. I remember telling Tanner a few months before our wedding that he was the one I wanted to experience life's joys with, and the one I wanted to walk with me through deepest sorrow. And this year, I began to experience the importance of having chosen the right person to suffer with. And, Jesus be praised, I have chosen well.
This year, we have faced and are facing a good deal of uncertainty and sorrow in our difficulties starting a family. And through every meltdown, every negative test, every tear-filled evening, Tanner is there. When I am a mess, he is steady and sure. He loves, comforts, protects, and prays for me and with me. When I feel like giving up, he hold me, he remains supportive and sure, ever hopeful and encouraging. He has researched other ways of being a parent - if it ever comes to that - and shows me ways in which my longing to be a mother is even now being fulfilled. I chose the right man to suffer alongside, and that makes the joyful moments all the more full and refreshing. My only hope is that I have been as faithful a comfortor to him in his sorrows as he has been to me
In conclusion, this past year held more routine than our first year, but the stakes are also higher in some ways. As I look back, I'm thankful for the journey God is leading us on, even when the way is steep, narrow, or painful. For it is those times that teach us the most about who we really are, about the person we married, and about the faithfulness of God.
And I eagerly look forward to this next year, and decades more to come.
